суббота, 17 февраля 2018 г.

Time For Some Changes

I know that I quite often started my post with this phrase or, if not started, at least it was still somewhere in my text, but since this is my blog and my thoughts, I want to type it.
I am so tired. I am tired physically and emotionally. I am so fed up with my studies, always doing lots of homeworks and mostly not enjoying studying what I study, except of the languages. I can’t properly sleep already like three weeks since I’ve started the spring semester. Maybe a couple of days I managed to get a proper sleep but other days it’s awful. I am trying to calm myself down before bed, to turn off all the bothering me thoughts, all the reflections of the day or just thinking about the past or the future. When I also do yoga, I try to not to think about my to-do list or any bad things. This is my goal right now as well, while I am practicing-to learn how to calm myself down in the beginning, in the middle and in the end- in shavasana. I do yoga every day (besides two amazing classes a week), and I understand that I need to use this time wisely and fully devote myself to my practice and not anything else.
I am also thinking of changing my routine a bit and more precisely- study routine. As I said in the beginning, that I am tired of all this study ****, it’s because I think of it too much and always learn something. Every day (except of Saturdays which is my day off from all the study materials, thoughts and so on) I study study and again study the same things. I do enjoy learning the languages but I think that for some other subjects I could pay not that much attention and worry about, especially if I don’t really need them.
Why do I need to stress myself out because of something I don’t want to do and don’t feel that passionate about or interested in? Should we actually work hard on this and eventually feel so tired and exhausted that we just have no more strengths to do anything else, even something we love, because we literally cannot.  
 When it comes to the tests or even the exams that are only in three months, I already start to prepare and learn.  I mean, it’s good to repeat and practice the materials, but not really good when you do it every day, even if the test is not soon, and you just go crazy about it, don’t give yourself a break, don’t enjoy your favorite book, don’t go outside and so on and so forth. I am tired of this. It doesn’t let me properly enjoy my days or time. Eventually, I just complain how tired I am, how I don’t like this subject and things like that.
So I will try to change it a bit and see how it goes. I also need to stop worrying and thinking a lot, try to improve my sleep and mind. Well, and my nerves as well, while they are not completely destroyed. :(

If someone comes across this post and accidentally will read it, then I wish you good health! :) 
And yes, this is my very first photo of me doing yoga. haha :D Decided to try and take a photo. Maybe will take something else later :) 

среда, 31 января 2018 г.

Some Memories

The spring semester has already started and I'm in Tallinn again. I don't really want to write anything right now, just wanted to upload some photos.
 Our favourite tradition with mom-sushi with schrimps and avcado for her and with tofu for me and, of course, a good movie. In January we were doing it every week :)). 
I remember our last mornings(when I was home) together when we were sitting early in the kitchen and were drinking delicious coffee while talking about life and everything in general. I miss it so much, but obviously, it can't be like this all the time.

 I miss this guy :(

среда, 24 января 2018 г.

Early Morning

Went to sleep at half twelve and woke up at half five in the morning. What the hell!
Was laying in bed two hours trying to fall back asleep but couldn't. Decided to pour myself some camomile tea and started practising yoga. At least, I had a two hour practice and it was really good.
Now sipping some strong coffee. Unfortunately, have no books to read and today I also need to bring everything to the library. I have a hatha yoga book that dad gave me on Christmas, so I have to finish that and try out some new asanas. Also need to finish french exercises that I asked the teaches to give me. So, I think, the rest of the days won't be that boring. :)

воскресенье, 21 января 2018 г.

Peaceful Morning

I woke up at 7 am and went straight to my mat to practice 90 minute yoga. It was truly amazing-practising early in the morning when it's still dark and silent. I also love listening to my music while practising. Usually I listen to calm music but someties I can practice with rock which doesn't affect my practice at all but makes it even better. :) Then I made a cup of hot and delicious nut coffee and read a bit a book about a vampire dynasty that I found in the library.
Last but not least is breakfast. I decided to finally bake my favourite peanut butter cookies with raisins. Greate, peaceful morning! :)
I am gonna take a walk later and meet my mom from work. The weather is cold and snowy but still not that bad to stay inside. Only one week left till the spring semester begins, so I'm trying to enjoy these last days as best as I can and don't think about the school.

суббота, 20 января 2018 г.

Cruelty of People

I visited my friend a few days ago and she told me about her 2 month job experience in our, so to say, "resort town" that is 20 minutes from us. I was so shocked by the fact of how cruel people are now. I want to highlight the word now. I know, I am not the one to say that in the past people were kinder and more respectful towards each other(by the past, I mean the 90s,80s,etc), because I was born only in 95th. I am also not gonna deny the fact that at that time they also had lots of crime,violence and so on, but I just feel that people were not that cruel to each other and were always ready to help. It seems that with all this technology innovation and how ing eneral the world develops, people also change and not in a good way.
Basically, what my friend told me is that no one didn't help her on her new place(which the staff that works there has to do), they were always looking for something to blame her (any little detail or any stupid), everyone showed themselves as they are the kings there and you must do everything what they say, even if these are not your responsibilities. Together with that, my friend wasn't respected and always was a witness of gossips behind her back.
And is this normal?Those people were almost the same age as she is, and even if they weren't, they had no right to do this and treat her like this.

I knew that there are such people and it was not the only one case, but anyway, I was shocked and scared. It's really sad when you want to get settled in a new place, meet new people, have good working relationships and so on, but in reality- this is what you get. Especially in our small town, it's hard to find a part-time job while you are studying.
Anyway, you never know what team you are gonna work with and how you employer is gonna treat you ( only if by gossips and experience of others). Sometimes even our dream job can turn out a nightmare for us.

среда, 17 января 2018 г.

Lazy Update

It got a little colder now, so it's not very enjoyable to stay too long outside.
Two days ago me and mom took hot coffee and went to walk to the river, not far from our home. It snowed and was really nice, even though cold. Luckily, we had delicious coffee to warm us up. I also took some photos but haven't edited them yet, so will upload them later.

Today I felt a bit down and somehow tired (after doing a 90min yoga, eating a good breakfast with a good book and doing some French), it was also terribly cold inside. I was covered in a blanket all day and now also sitting already in my pyjamas and the blanked over it. I just watched movies with mom for the rest of the day with hot tea and tangarines. 

I need to stop being lazy and edit some of the new photos that I took, but for now, just a couple old ones that were taken on my phone in the restaurant, where we went to with my aun on the 30th of December, right before the New Year. 

суббота, 13 января 2018 г.

Small changes

I enjoy these days so much. Don’t remember when I had that much time to read all day, practice yoga multiple times a day, watch movies every day and just relax. Of course, this is not forever but just a little vacation which soon will be over.
I just wish I had a little more time to read the books that I found in the library and that I want to read so bad but already have no time for them. I wish I had more time to be with my mom and grandmas, talk to them, walk with them and enjoy good times together. I haven’t yet seen my dear friend but I hope we will soon see each other before I leave again.

Last Wednesday I cut my hair again. This time in a little different way which I like much better. I wanted to change something for a long time in my hair because I am so tired of these boring long style which sometimes I don’t even like. However, now I feel like I found my haircut, at least, for this time. :) )