I know that I quite often started my post with this phrase or, if not started, at least it was still somewhere in my text, but since this is my blog and my thoughts, I want to type it.
I am so tired. I am tired physically and emotionally. I am so fed up with my studies, always doing lots of homeworks and mostly not enjoying studying what I study, except of the languages. I can’t properly sleep already like three weeks since I’ve started the spring semester. Maybe a couple of days I managed to get a proper sleep but other days it’s awful. I am trying to calm myself down before bed, to turn off all the bothering me thoughts, all the reflections of the day or just thinking about the past or the future. When I also do yoga, I try to not to think about my to-do list or any bad things. This is my goal right now as well, while I am practicing-to learn how to calm myself down in the beginning, in the middle and in the end- in shavasana. I do yoga every day (besides two amazing classes a week), and I understand that I need to use this time wisely and fully devote myself to my practice and not anything else.
I am also thinking of changing my routine a bit and more precisely- study routine. As I said in the beginning, that I am tired of all this study ****, it’s because I think of it too much and always learn something. Every day (except of Saturdays which is my day off from all the study materials, thoughts and so on) I study study and again study the same things. I do enjoy learning the languages but I think that for some other subjects I could pay not that much attention and worry about, especially if I don’t really need them.
Why do I need to stress myself out because of something I don’t want to do and don’t feel that passionate about or interested in? Should we actually work hard on this and eventually feel so tired and exhausted that we just have no more strengths to do anything else, even something we love, because we literally cannot.
When it comes to the tests or even the exams that are only in three months, I already start to prepare and learn. I mean, it’s good to repeat and practice the materials, but not really good when you do it every day, even if the test is not soon, and you just go crazy about it, don’t give yourself a break, don’t enjoy your favorite book, don’t go outside and so on and so forth. I am tired of this. It doesn’t let me properly enjoy my days or time. Eventually, I just complain how tired I am, how I don’t like this subject and things like that.
So I will try to change it a bit and see how it goes. I also need to stop worrying and thinking a lot, try to improve my sleep and mind. Well, and my nerves as well, while they are not completely destroyed. :(
If someone comes across this post and accidentally will read it, then I wish you good health! :)
And yes, this is my very first photo of me doing yoga. haha :D Decided to try and take a photo. Maybe will take something else later :)