пятница, 16 марта 2018 г.

Usual Friday

I’ve just done all the things I wanted to do, including the homework, buying groceries, some housework and going to the Uni for a French lecture.

Now I’m sitting half asleep because woke up at 5 am…Nothing new. Listening to new amazing songs that I found some days ago. Also, one good thing that happened on Wednesday. I’m finally home alone! What a relief. I was living almost a month with one person( don’t wanna talk about her), an old mom of the owner’s apartment. It was really a bad month...:( But I don’t wanna talk about it anymore…Just hope I will have now some peace. Don’t know for how long but hope for, at least, some time..

The weather is sunny again but still too cold. It was just recently warm, even +5 degrees, so I finally could put on my spring coat but not for too long, cuz now it feels like winter again. : ( 
Can’t wait to put away my winter clothes and finally wear something lighter. Really tired of all these sweaters, big coats and hats.

I think I’ll go now take some rest and watch a movie. Basically, not going to do anything for the rest of the evening, except of the nice shower, a good cup of tea and some popcorn. : ) Friday!
Missing my boy:(

воскресенье, 11 марта 2018 г.

The Beginning of Spring

I think, it’s a common thing and most people felt that way- when you do something intentionally, you really want this and you think it’s right, but then it turned out not in a way that you hoped it to be. You start to realize that you did something wrong, it’s your fault and maybe you wish you hadn’t done this. But what’s done is done.
Ok, not gonna talk in riddles anymore. Basically, this situation happened to me last week. I have to move out from the apartment where I am living now. I really liked my room, the apartment on the whole, but I was (especially lately) not very glad with the conditions and some events that were happening here. I may sound a bit naughty and maybe wrong, because this is not my apartment and I rent only one single room, but when I was moving in there, I was told that, for example, I will live with a girl who sometimes will be coming here. There were also some other aspects that were agreed between us, but also many of those things that weren’t actually said, and I didn’t expect it to be so..So I decided to do something(discussed it with my mom, and we messaged an apartment owner). Eventually, she didn't like this, she was very outraged and so on. I, on the other hand , thought and still thinking that, in a way, I am right. Yes, there were some doubts but I don't really regret this.
I think, I am not the only one, who after a long day at school, or even on the weekends, wants to just come home and have a rest, maybe take a nap or something else. However, when I want to do this or when I need it so bad, unexpectedly we (not me, of course, but the others here in the apartment) have guests, aka family members with their 2 kids .I just couldn't stand it anymore. But, of course, nothing has not changed yet. I am still here, and probably the worst things will only happen because of this.
So this is really messed up right now. Don’t even know what to do. Have lots of things at school right now and the timetable will be really shitty these coming weeks (I’ve mentioned it before), so the last thing I want now is to deal with the owners of this apartment (I mean, really deal and sort things out) and also thinking of finding another room, going to check it out and so on..Maybe I will be able to stay here, at least, till the beginning of June, when semester will be over. I just hope that I won’t be told bad things from the owners when they will come.

The beginning of spring actually wasn’t that bad for me. A week ago, on Friday, my mom came to visit me and stayed with me for two nights. Not everything was as we wanted it to be and as it usually was, when she was coming to me, but we anyway had great time together…because we were together! We were waking up really early (my mom always does, and I did because wanted to be with her more), so this week I was also a bit tired and had a lack of sleep. Luckily, I slept well. Anyway, we had lots of good coffee, talked a lot, walked, watched movies and had delicious food.

Everything was perfect till the moment when my mom left.

 The photo is really dark, because of the poor lighting in the cafe.But it actually makes this place even cozier. :)

Yesterday I had a good practice (as always) in yoga studio , it was also provided by a good and pleasant music there, so I got a bit inspired and was even happy. Wow! But that’s exactly what I needed after not a very good week. I came home and made myself a good cup of coffee, read my book, lighted a candle. The weather is shitty now (everything is melting, grey and so on), basically it’s the beginning of spring. So I really wanted to come home and warm up in my home clothes and a blanket. 

вторник, 27 февраля 2018 г.

Time for Myself

Finally I had time to practice 90 min yoga at home. Today I had more time in the morning and also could sleep a little more, so I decided to use this opportunity wisely and devote these sweet hours to myself, my body and my soul. It was especially nice-flowing with the rays of Sun that were warming me.
Tomorrow I have no studies, as I’ve already mentioned. I am still planning to wake up a bit earlier, get a cup of nice coffee in my favourite café and read a book “Chocolate” that I am reading already the second time and truly enjoying this. After finishing the book, I want to watch again the movie because I’ve completely forgotten it but remember it was as good as the book.
 After some reading-a little shopping :) I finally have time to wander around the shops and find something for the spring. I have lots of sweaters which is good for the weather we are having at the moment, but I want maybe some shirts or something like that.

I'm having a really good mood now but still a bit worried that something or someone can spoil it : ( I have some plans for the weekend and every day I am literally praying that nobody didn't mess it up..
I am more into history books at the moment, thanks to my dad. He suggested me lots of interesting books to read but not all of them are available here in the library. I am planning to read the ones that dad already has in his collection in the summer. I managed to find a book "Spartacus" and really liked it. I missed,hovewer, some moments cuz sometimes was not very attentive but still enjoyed it. Also I read a documentary book about "Troy". Last week I already took a fiction book about it as well, so can't wait to read it. :) While I am having a bit more time now, I try my best to read as many interesting and good books as I can, because already soon, I think, it will be a "mess" in school.

суббота, 24 февраля 2018 г.

Snowy Days

The weather is truly amazing these last days. Feels like a real winter, even though it’s not my favorite time of the season and I hate the cold. It’s slowly snowing all day today, and it’s finally shining, so it’s really enjoyable outside.

I started my morning quite slowly and finally got a good sleep. The trip to my usual yoga practice was, however, a bit hectic. Today it’s an Independence Day in Estonia, so due to this, there are lots of transport that don’t work. As I am not local here in Tallinn and don’t know quite a lot in this city, I was a bit confused when found out that the tram which I had to take to get to my place, didn’t work till 1pm. Luckily, I managed to ask some people which bus to take and where to stop but still had to run. Eventually, I was a bit out of breath and couldn’t calm myself down but later managed to settle down and join the practice. Didn’t want to be in the city today that much, so I just went to the supermarket, quickly bought what I needed and went home.

Next week will be a bit easier in the university, as we won’t have German and French classes, so I will have some time to relax, and also on Wednesday no studies at all. I would prefer that everything was as it is, because then a couple of Thursdays in a row it will be so difficult: sitting on the lectures from 8.30 till 17 pm, because we will have to catch up with our missing classes in French. : (
Rest now and work later.
Now shower, hot tea with candy and a good movie. This is my kind of evening on the weekdays.  : ) 

суббота, 17 февраля 2018 г.

Time For Some Changes

I know that I quite often started my post with this phrase or, if not started, at least it was still somewhere in my text, but since this is my blog and my thoughts, I want to type it.
I am so tired. I am tired physically and emotionally. I am so fed up with my studies, always doing lots of homeworks and mostly not enjoying studying what I study, except of the languages. I can’t properly sleep already like three weeks since I’ve started the spring semester. Maybe a couple of days I managed to get a proper sleep but other days it’s awful. I am trying to calm myself down before bed, to turn off all the bothering me thoughts, all the reflections of the day or just thinking about the past or the future. When I also do yoga, I try to not to think about my to-do list or any bad things. This is my goal right now as well, while I am practicing-to learn how to calm myself down in the beginning, in the middle and in the end- in shavasana. I do yoga every day (besides two amazing classes a week), and I understand that I need to use this time wisely and fully devote myself to my practice and not anything else.
I am also thinking of changing my routine a bit and more precisely- study routine. As I said in the beginning, that I am tired of all this study ****, it’s because I think of it too much and always learn something. Every day (except of Saturdays which is my day off from all the study materials, thoughts and so on) I study study and again study the same things. I do enjoy learning the languages but I think that for some other subjects I could pay not that much attention and worry about, especially if I don’t really need them.
Why do I need to stress myself out because of something I don’t want to do and don’t feel that passionate about or interested in? Should we actually work hard on this and eventually feel so tired and exhausted that we just have no more strengths to do anything else, even something we love, because we literally cannot.  
 When it comes to the tests or even the exams that are only in three months, I already start to prepare and learn.  I mean, it’s good to repeat and practice the materials, but not really good when you do it every day, even if the test is not soon, and you just go crazy about it, don’t give yourself a break, don’t enjoy your favorite book, don’t go outside and so on and so forth. I am tired of this. It doesn’t let me properly enjoy my days or time. Eventually, I just complain how tired I am, how I don’t like this subject and things like that.
So I will try to change it a bit and see how it goes. I also need to stop worrying and thinking a lot, try to improve my sleep and mind. Well, and my nerves as well, while they are not completely destroyed. :(

If someone comes across this post and accidentally will read it, then I wish you good health! :) 
And yes, this is my very first photo of me doing yoga. haha :D Decided to try and take a photo. Maybe will take something else later :)